


Why do I Love You?

by Rayvenfire12



Category: Bleach
Genre: But Grimmjow loves him anyway, Gen, Ichigo is a mess, Ichigo is more hollow than not, Idiots in Love, Love Letters, M/M, No Beta, We Die Like Men, and a COWARD, i have friends, just kidding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27578269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rayvenfire12/pseuds/Rayvenfire12
Summary: Three weeks ago, Grimmjow asked Ichigo why Ichi loves him. Ichi got all spluttery and couldn't manage to answer. Now, Ichigo feels like he's on top of the world because he left this letter in his nest for Grimm to find.
Relationships: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/Kurosaki Ichigo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 58
Collections: GrimmIchi Secret Santa 2020





	Why do I Love You?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ribbon13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ribbon13/gifts).



_‘Why do I love you?’_ I ask myself that all the time and the answer changes every time. Some days it’s your smile, perpetually feral and bloodthirsty; other days it’s the way you say my name, the rumbling growl of a panther on the hunt; still others it’s the way the world feels when you decide you want to kick me around Urahara’s training grounds. Then there are the days that feel like I’m going to either implode, from the expectations of Soul Society and Goat-face’s lack of awareness, or explode, because I’ve spent too long denying Shiro-Zangetsu any kind of outlet and I can’t afford to hide one more angry snarl behind my ‘Hero of Soul Society’ mask. Those are the days that I give Kon my body and run to you. Deep in the dessert of Hueco Mundo, where you built me a nest. 

I still haven’t shown that nest to anyone, it means too much to me, and to Shiro, for us to share it with our human or Shinigami hoard. I know it made you mad when you thought I built a different one, but I made a den, not a nest. A nest is for the core of my hoard, a den is for the rest of it. The nest is where Shiro retreats to when we have to run unless we want to lose our grasp on what little sanity we have left, because you made it; it smells like you every time we reach it and that is how we know we can let go. No matter how much of a hybrid I am, Shiro is a larger part of my soul than anyone else wants to admit. The Hollow form is much more _right_ than being fully ‘Human’ has ever been. Someday, I might bring the twins to the nest but I don’t think that’s going to be any time soon. I want our nest to stay the way it is, with only the three of us, you, Shiro, and I, knowing that it even exists. It feels safer like that.

The days that I run to you, you make me feel real again. Like I wasn’t about to snap and start breaking things, or people. Those days, I love you for your instincts and your willingness to listen to them; the way you always know if I need to be controlled or need to give up control. Your willingness to hunt with Shiro, even if you’d rather be hunting with me. The way you showed me how to give Shiro his own form, separate and distinct from mine, was one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. I love you for your sapphire eyes, sky blue hair, and teal estigmata; for your release form and your sealed form; for your very existence.

I am so immeasurably grateful for your patience with us as Shiro and I learn how to be a Vasto Lorde class Menos, because we missed the whole climb. You’ve taught us how to create a Garganta, and how to use Cero and Bala; how to use a sword properly, and how best to use that awkward, oversized Khyber Knife that is the closest we can get to a sealed state. We have almost reached Resurrection, and you never stop pushing us to give more, but you’ve never pushed too hard. You even shared some of the moves you use in your release state, just because you thought they fit my fighting style. 

You asked me why I love you, Grimmjow? It’s because you love my dumbass. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to _tell_ you to your face but I think I managed to express myself well enough in this letter that I won’t need to.

I love you,

Kurosaki Ichigo


End file.
